Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Electronic perfumed cigars? Lighten up!
by James Leavey
There are strong signs that Ireland is at last witnessing the green shoots of recovery after the fall of the Celtic Tiger.
Or maybe it's just the shamrock growers getting ready for St Patrick's Day (March 17 – you heathens!).
Whatever. To me, it's just another great excuse to celebrate life with a fine cigar.
Talking of which, a fellow nicotine lover recently asked me why you rarely see a priest in an Irish cigar shop.
'That's because nobody under the age of 18 is allowed in,' I told him.
Talking of feckin' chancers, some of those shady companies trading in electronic cigarettes are thinking about extending their range to include perfumed electronic ciggies, and, God Help Us and Save Us, electronic fucking cigars.
Now here's the thing...it turns out these electronic devices that appear to simulate a smoke are more dangerous than the real thing. It's that liquid nicotine they use to suck in smokers.
Besides, any tobacco that needs the addition of another flavour is, in my opinion, not worth igniting.
That includes those cheap cigarillos flavoured with all kinds of noisome shite.
Think about it...if the tobacco in a cigar is good it doesn't need enhancing or ruining with something else.
And as most of the flavours suggested for electronic puffs or any other electronic alternative tobacco products, is sweet...they may appeal to young idiot potential smokers who have already been conned into serious boozing via alco-fucking-pops.
The fact is that most of those companies who have leapt onto the anti-smoking bandwagon don't actually want their customers to stop smoking. They just want them to try and quit, and with this in mind sell them a piece of crap at vastly inflated prices.
It's cheaper and far better to smoke less by smoking better – so maybe it's time to switch to the occasional premium Havana instead of chain-smoking cheap tobacco.
Meanwhile, the anti-smoking lobby want to take over the smoking market but don't seem to be too bothered – unlike the tobacco companies they are trying to take down – to produce alternative smoking products that are actually safe to use.
As for electronic cigars...maybe they should only produce very wide girth, long versions into which they can insert a couple of AA batteries, turn them into vibrators, and stick them up their arse.
Now, for those of you who are serious dedicated cigar lovers like myself, may I suggest you turn your attention to some of the new cigars on the market and currently available from The DCE in Dublin, especially the Don Antonio premium long filler Dominican brand which comes in three tubed sizes: the Churchill, the Lonsdale, and, my absolute favourite, the delightfully smooth and more-ish Don Antonio Robusto.
And the great thing is, it doesn't need batteries.